Understand Your Nervous System
Reclaim Pleasure and Intimacy
Transform Your Quality of Life
Release somatic trauma, sexual trauma, shame, fear, anxiety, and depression with evidence-informed somatic practices and personalized education.
Somatic means body-based — because trauma doesn't just live in your thoughts, it lives in your body too. At Romance and Reality, I help people move past stuckness — not just intellectually, but physically and emotionally — so meaningful intimacy feels possible again.
I combine holistic somatic sex education and somatic bodywork to support lasting integration of trauma held in the body. This isn’t just talk therapy — it’s body-based care that rewires nervous responses, creates safety in sensation, and expands your capacity for pleasure, connection, and consent.
I also collaborate with therapists and pelvic-health professionals to bridge gaps where conventional care often falls short, ensuring you get comprehensive, trauma-aware support.
You deserve safety, choice, pleasure, and embodied confidence.
Book a consultation to see if I’m right for you!
An initial 45-minute consultation is available for $25, which is then applied toward your first session if you choose to move forward: no commitment, no pressure, just a conversation.
Challenges I Address
You may recognize yourself in some of the following experiences:
Bailey Barmettler, Certified Holistic Sex Educator, Somatic Sex Educator, and Somatic Bodyworker, Specializing in sexual trauma recovery, relationship coaching, love addiction/codependency, complex PTSD recovery, and intimacy skill building.
Trauma & Nervous System Responses
Difficulty feeling safe, grounded, or present in your body
Feeling hijacked by sensations, emotions, or physiological responses that don’t match the present moment
Freeze, collapse, hypervigilance, or dissociation during intimacy or stress
Physical reactions or sensations that feel overwhelming but don't seem connected to a specific memory
Consent, Boundaries & Self-Trust
Difficulty knowing what you want, need, or don’t want in real time
People-pleasing (appeasing), freezing, or overriding your own boundaries
Loss of connection or trust in your body’s signals or instincts
Confusion between obligation, desire, and consent
Relationship & Identity Impacts
Feeling disconnected from yourself or others despite wanting closeness
Feeling “behind,” different, or alone in your experiences
Challenges communicating needs, wants, limits, or desires
Identity confusion related to sexuality, desire, or embodiment
Sexual Trauma & Intimacy-Related Challenges
Struggles with sexual shame, guilt, fear, or self-judgment
Anxiety, shutdown, or panic during a sexual or romantic connection
Pleasure that feels inaccessible, muted, confusing, or suddenly overwhelming
Sexual trauma stored in the body that affects intimacy, arousal, desire, or touch
A sense of being “disconnected” from your erotic self
If talk-based approaches have helped you understand why these patterns exist, but not how to shift them in your body, this work may be a supportive next step.
Frequently Asked Questions
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“Soma” or “Somatic” is Greek for "the soul of the body" and represents the idea that the body and mind are separate, but communicate with each other. Examples of common somatic responses include stress headaches, situational loss of appetite, and panic attacks. Using somatic awareness and intention promotes better communication among the body, emotions, and mind. This provides vital insights and neurological regulation.
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In the first session, we will review my role, services, and professional boundaries. You can expect an in-depth intake evaluation, where we will discuss your intentions for seeking me out. By the end of the first session, there should be some clear goals that we may use as guideposts for our progress. All disclosures are confidential, with you and your comfort level determining the depth at which we go into your sexual history. Education and somatic coaching will likely be woven in as well, but the focus of the evaluation is to understand where you are, where you want to be, and how I can best support you in achieving your objectives.
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You won’t be handed a one-size-fits-all script. Every session centers on your intentions. Sessions may include:
Nervous system regulation and somatic tracking
Trauma-informed education about body-mind communication
Skills for consent, boundaries, and authentic voice
Somatic practices that build safety and pleasure
Optional body-awareness exercises
No matter where you start, your comfort and fully informed consent guides how far we go.
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Absolutely not! All “NO’s” are welcome here! Not being interested in any touch exercises or bodywork is absolutely welcomed and appreciated. This is not a barrier to our progress, as anything I offer during an in-office session is adaptable to an online or home environment.
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Sessions are driven by your present somatic state and your self-defined sexual wellness goals. I aim to see significant progress towards your goal within 4 to 8 sessions. At 8 sessions in we will pause to retrospect and reevaluate the paths forward. Every human body/mind/soul heals on its own timeline, so I can not make any guarantees on timelines. If you are willing to implement the somatic practices that work for you in your daily life as a habit, then it will become apparent how much potential for improvement is available.
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Care is provided with respect, confidentiality, and a trauma-aware lens — guided by your pace and needs. Sessions are offered virtually and in person, with pricing designed to expand access across all income levels.
Testimonials