Transform Trauma.

Reclaim Pleasure. 

Build Safety in the Body.

Heal somatic trauma, sexual trauma, shame, fear, anxiety, and depression with evidence-informed somatic practices and personalized education.

Romance and Reality, Bailey Barmettler, Certified, Holistic, Somatic, Sex Educator, Sexologist, Sex Therapy, relationship coach, love addiction, codependency, trauma, PTSD, intimacy

At Romance and Reality, I help people move past stuckness — not just intellectually, but physically and emotionally — so meaningful intimacy feels possible again.

I combine holistic somatic sex education and somatic bodywork to support lasting integration of trauma held in the body. This isn’t just talk therapy — it’s body-based care that rewires nervous responses, creates safety in sensation, and expands your capacity for pleasure, connection, and consent.

I also collaborate with therapists and pelvic-health professionals to bridge gaps where conventional care often falls short, ensuring you get comprehensive, trauma-aware support.

You deserve safety, desire, choice, and embodied confidence.

Learn More

Book a free discovery call

No pressure. No commitment. Let’s talk about your intentions and what healing could look like for you.

Free Consultation

Challenges  I  Address

You may recognize yourself in some of the following experiences:

Bailey Barmettler, Certified Holistic Sex Educator, Somatic Sex Educator, and Somatic Bodyworker, Specializing in sexual trauma recovery, relationship coaching, love addiction/codependency, complex PTSD recovery, and intimacy skill building.

Trauma & Nervous System Responses

  • Ongoing somatic flashbacks or body memories without clear narrative recall

  • Feeling hijacked by sensations, emotions, or physiological responses that don’t match the present moment

  • Freeze, collapse, hypervigilance, or dissociation during intimacy or stress

  • Difficulty feeling safe, grounded, or present in your body

Sexual Trauma & Intimacy-Related Challenges

  • Sexual trauma stored in the body that affects arousal, desire, or touch

  • Pleasure that feels inaccessible, muted, confusing, or suddenly overwhelming

  • Anxiety, shutdown, or panic during a sexual or romantic connection

  • Struggles with sexual shame, guilt, fear, or self-judgment

  • A sense of being “disconnected” from your erotic self

Consent, Boundaries & Self-Trust

  • Difficulty knowing what you want, need, or don’t want in real time

  • People-pleasing, freezing, or overriding your own boundaries

  • Confusion between obligation, desire, and consent

  • Loss of trust in your body’s signals or instincts

Relationship & Identity Impacts

  • Feeling disconnected from yourself or others despite wanting closeness

  • Challenges communicating needs, limits, or desires

  • Identity confusion related to sexuality, desire, or embodiment

  • Feeling “behind,” different, or alone in your experiences

If talk-based approaches have helped you understand why these patterns exist, but not how to shift them in your body, this work may be a supportive next step.

Book a Free Consultation

What This Looks Like

You won’t be handed a one-size-fits-all script. Every session centers on your intentions. Sessions may include:

  • Nervous system regulation and somatic tracking

  • Trauma-informed education about body-mind communication

  • Skills for consent, boundaries, and authentic voice

  • Somatic practices that build safety and pleasure

  • Optional body-awareness exercises

No matter where you start, your comfort and fully informed consent guides how far we go.

Accessible & Inclusive Care

Care is provided with respect, confidentiality, and a trauma-aware lens — guided by your pace and needs. Sessions are offered virtually and in person, with pricing designed to expand access across all income levels.

Free Consultation Available — find out if we’re a good fit before committing.

Testimonials

  • "Bailey has been truly patient, kind, supportive, and successful in helping me work through my PTSD on many levels. For anyone thinking of facing facing their traumas and fears, know that addressing them is the key to coming to terms and to moving forward. You wont be alone in doing this with Bailey. She is a caring and knowledgeable partner to guide you toward healing. I am so grateful for having met her, and for her assistance. She's truly changing my life for the better."

    ~ A.J. ~

  • “I highly recommend working with Bailey! She did such an amazing job making me feel comfortable and heard. Her insights about intimacy and communication were so helpful. She really wants to empower you to create the intimacy you dream of! This is a realm that often gets sidelined in relationships, but it’s so essential to address.”

    ~ Lisa and Joe ~

  • "The experience of somatic pleasure mapping was very positive, and I will recommend it to others! I was amazed by everything that I learned about myself. It is definitely something I would repeat, as I feel like I have acquired access to deeper parts of myself than I was aware of. I can also see the therapeutic benefits for women of all kinds. It has helped my partner and I to deepen our intimacy and maximize our pleasure."

    ~ Nat ~

  • "Bailey was caring and kind-hearted. She was easy for my husband to open up to, which I was the most worried about. Her information made sense and helped us to understand how it applied in the bedroom. We have some things to still work out, but as we practice our sexual communication skills our time in bed together has become more inviting."

    ~ Michelle ~

  • "Extremely informative pleasure mapping session. My partner and I really got to know each other better. I would definitely do this again and am already suggesting to my friends that they try it out."

    ~ Ben ~