Understand Your Nervous System

Reclaim Pleasure and Intimacy

Transform Your Quality of Life

Release somatic trauma, sexual trauma, shame, fear, anxiety, and depression with evidence-informed somatic practices and personalized education.

Romance and Reality, Bailey Barmettler, Certified, Holistic, Somatic, Sex Educator, Sexologist, Sex Therapy, relationship coach, love addiction, codependency, trauma, PTSD, intimacy

Somatic refers to our body-based, sensory memory — because trauma doesn't just live in your thoughts, it lives in your body too. At Romance and Reality, I help people move past stuckness — not just intellectually, but physically and emotionally — so meaningful intimacy feels possible again.

I combine holistic somatic sex education and somatic bodywork to support lasting integration of trauma held in the body. This isn’t just talk therapy — it’s holistic care that rewires nervous responses, creates safety in sensation, and expands your capacity for pleasure, connection, and consent.

I also collaborate with therapists and pelvic-health professionals to bridge gaps where conventional care often falls short, ensuring you get comprehensive, trauma-aware support.

You deserve safety, choice, pleasure, and embodied confidence.

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Book a FREE consultation to see if I’m right for you!

No commitment, no pressure, just an informative conversation to make sure you feel confident and comfortable moving forward.

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Challenges  I  Address

You may recognize yourself in some of the following experiences:

Bailey Barmettler, Certified Holistic Sex Educator, Somatic Sex Educator, and Somatic Bodyworker, Specializing in sexual trauma recovery, relationship coaching, love addiction/codependency, complex PTSD recovery, and intimacy skill building.

Trauma & Nervous System Responses

  • Difficulty feeling safe, grounded, or present in your body

  • Feeling hijacked by sensations, emotions, or physiological responses that don’t match the present moment

  • Freeze, collapse, hypervigilance, or dissociation during intimacy or stress

  • Physical reactions or sensations that feel overwhelming but don't seem connected to a specific memory

Consent, Boundaries & Self-Trust

  • Difficulty knowing what you want, need, or don’t want in real time

  • People-pleasing (appeasing), freezing, or overriding your own boundaries

  • Loss of connection or trust in your body’s signals or instincts

  • Confusion between obligation, desire, and consent

Relationship & Identity Impacts

  • Feeling disconnected from yourself or others despite wanting closeness

  • Feeling “behind,” different, or alone in your experiences

  • Challenges communicating needs, wants, limits, or desires

  • Identity confusion related to sexuality, desire, or embodiment

Sexual Trauma & Intimacy-Related Challenges

  • Struggles with sexual shame, guilt, fear, or self-judgment

  • Anxiety, shutdown, or panic during a sexual or romantic connection

  • Pleasure that feels inaccessible, muted, confusing, or suddenly overwhelming

  • Sexual trauma stored in the body that affects intimacy, arousal, desire, or touch

  • A sense of being “disconnected” from your erotic self

Navigating Relationships with Nuance

  • New to intimacy or sexuality, and looking for how to navigate it with confidence

  • Chronically single or lonely and unsure why — How to connect and date with confidence

  • Stuck in relationship cycles — Understanding attachment patterns, codependency, love addiction, or repeatedly choosing partners who don't meet your needs

  • Couples or partners wanting to deepen communication, rebuild connection, or learn how to meet each other’s needs and desires better

If talk-based approaches have helped you understand why these patterns exist, but not how to shift them in your body, this work may be a supportive next step.

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Frequently Asked Questions

  • “Soma” or “Somatic” is Greek for "the soul of the body" and represents the idea that the body and mind are separate, but communicate with each other. Examples of common somatic responses include stress headaches, situational loss of appetite, and panic attacks. Using somatic awareness and intention promotes better communication among the body, emotions, and mind. This provides vital insights and neurological regulation.

  • In the first session, we will review my role, services, and professional boundaries. You can expect an in-depth intake evaluation, where we will discuss your intentions for seeking me out. By the end of the first session, there should be some clear goals that we may use as guideposts for our progress. All disclosures are confidential, with you and your comfort level determining the depth at which we go into your sexual history. Education and somatic coaching will likely be woven in as well, but the focus of the evaluation is to understand where you are, where you want to be, and how I can best support you in achieving your objectives.

  • You won’t be handed a one-size-fits-all script. Every session centers on your intentions. Sessions may include:

    • Nervous system regulation and somatic tracking

    • Trauma-informed education about body-mind communication

    • Skills for consent, boundaries, and authentic voice

    • Somatic practices that build safety and pleasure

    • Optional body-awareness exercises

    No matter where you start, your comfort and fully informed consent guides how far we go.

  • Absolutely not! All “NO’s” are welcome here! Not being interested in any touch exercises or bodywork is absolutely welcomed and appreciated. This is not a barrier to our progress, as anything I offer during an in-office session is adaptable to an online or home environment.

  • Sessions are driven by your present somatic state and your self-defined sexual wellness goals. I aim to see significant progress towards your goal within 4 to 8 sessions. At 8 sessions in we will pause to retrospect and reevaluate the paths forward. Every human body/mind/soul heals on its own timeline, so I can not make any guarantees on timelines. If you are willing to implement the somatic practices that work for you in your daily life as a habit, then it will become apparent how much potential for improvement is available.

  • Care is provided with respect, confidentiality, and a neurodiversity-aware lens — guided by your pace and needs. Sessions are offered virtually and in person, with pricing designed to expand access across all income levels. The main office room and bathroom are not wheelchair-accessible; however, sessions could take place in a wheelchair-accessible living room space.

Testimonials

  • "Working with Bailey has been truly transformative. Her somatic approach helped me understand the connection between my body and emotions, uncover hidden patterns, and create lasting change. She combines deep insight with genuine care. I highly recommend her."

    ~ Jessica ~

  • "Bailey is a literal life-saver. She has been an incredible support in my journey towards healing. Bailey has helped me navigate through anxious attachment, codependency, and childhood trauma with sincere compassion and understanding. Her guidance has been invaluable and I have made tremendous progress in a relatively short amount of time. She is kind, compassionate and gentle, but will also be direct with you to facilitate real cognitive growth. Bailey has been the most influential therapist I have ever had the pleasure of working with and I would recommend her services without hesitation! She has literally saved my life!"

    ~ Elisa ~

  • "Bailey is incredibly empathetic and has so many great ideas for how to approach difficult topics and situations. I have done five sessions with her in the last year, a couple of which were with my partner, and she has helped us improve our relationship and communication immensely."

    ~ Kara ~

  • "Extremely informative pleasure mapping session. My partner and I really got to know each other better. I would definitely do this again and am already suggesting to my friends that they try it out."

    ~ Ben ~

  • "Bailey is always centered, compassionate, and incredibly knowledgeable. As a therapist myself, her use of somatics feels absolutely magical. Her body-work, insight, and conversations have been life-changing for me when it comes to intimacy and relationships. If you're looking into somatic practioners, look no further than Bailey!"

    ~ Juliana ~

  • "Bailey has been truly patient, kind, supportive, and successful in helping me work through my PTSD on many levels. For anyone thinking of facing facing their traumas and fears, know that addressing them is the key to coming to terms and to moving forward. You wont be alone in doing this with Bailey. She is a caring and knowledgeable partner to guide you toward healing. I am so grateful for having met her, and for her assistance. She's truly changing my life for the better."

    ~ A.J. ~

  • "I had several sessions with Bailey, and found her very caring and nurturing, and sometimes 'deep'. I left each session feeling 'filled', and ready for new challenges. I can recommend her work."

    ~ Steve ~

  • "Bailey is an excellent educator and wonderful person. Working with her has been more beneficial than I can put into words. She has helped us to make some of the best improvements of our lives."

    ~ Val ~

  • "The experience of somatic pleasure mapping was very positive, and I will recommend it to others! I was amazed by everything that I learned about myself. It is definitely something I would repeat, as I feel like I have acquired access to deeper parts of myself than I was aware of. I can also see the therapeutic benefits for women of all kinds. It has helped my partner and I to deepen our intimacy and maximize our pleasure."

    ~ Nat ~

  • "What can I say about Bailey you ask?... She saw me for who I was, identified with me and my trauma, made me feel genuine with her validation… You know how they say some super-heroes swoop in and save lives from catastrophic occurrences? -totally true! I respect and honor the intimacy she was able to provide in SUCH a warm yet, humble and still professional manner. When it comes to my sexual trauma, she compassionately explained things within an hour that put to rest stressors that were on the verge of ruining my life… My senses are no longer tingly and numb. My mind is no longer lost… She REALLY helped me. THANK YOU, Bailey!"

    ~ Tom ~

  • "Bailey was caring and kind-hearted. She was easy for my husband to open up to, which I was the most worried about. Her information made sense and helped us to understand how it applied in the bedroom. We have some things to still work out, but as we practice our sexual communication skills our time in bed together has become more inviting."

    ~ Michelle ~

  • “I highly recommend working with Bailey! She did such an amazing job making me feel comfortable and heard. Her insights about intimacy and communication were so helpful. She really wants to empower you to create the intimacy you dream of! This is a realm that often gets sidelined in relationships, but it’s so essential to address.”

    ~ Lisa and Joe ~

  • "Bailey has been truly wonderful, patient, kind, supportive and successful in helping me work through PTSD on many levels. For anyone thinking of facing facing their trauma, internal demons, and fears, know that you are not alone in wanting to avoid them, to push them under the rug, to deal with them later. But also know that addressing them is the key to coming to terms, and to moving forward. Don't go it alone, find a caring and knowledgeable partner to guide you. That partner is Bailey. I am so grateful for having met her, and for her assistance. She's truly changing my life for the better."

    ~ Anonymous Male Client ~